Posts by just fine

12

Share Your Personal Experiences Please!

by LaurenM in

so since leaving the borg i've made quite a few stupid mistakes, hurting myself a lot..but i finally feel like i've learned and i think, in time, i'll find my happiness again...even more happiness that i could've ever had being a jw.. but my question to you guys is, what was your experience like leaving the borg?

did you struggle at all?

how long have you been out?

just fine

I have been out for nearly 20 years after having been born into it.

Struggle is an understatement. It took me a few years, lots of mistakes, and some therapy to get my life back together. Untangling my head was the most difficult, realizing it was a load of crap, no Armageddon coming, no judgement took awhile. I used alcohol as a crutch and did many self destructive things.

Life now is great and I am happy. I married a wonderful and supportive "worldly" man 15 years ago. He helped me to have the courage to go to college, I got my degree and it's been all good since then. My job is fulfilling most of the time, my marriage is fantastic, and I have been truly blessed materially. It's not perfect, but I am happy. That has helped my parents to accept me, what can they say?

You are right - once you get it together, it will be better than you can imagine.

79

So this Cute Chick at the KH ...

by brandnew in

jw
friends

thought she was gonna take a pic of me on the sneak.

im df'd...been df'd for over 19 years already.

so she probably would have gotten away with it without anyone knowing.....except that her flash was on.

just fine

That should make the next elders meeting about more than your beard. :-)

133

The new service meeting

by John Aquila in

i wanted to relate an experience that happened this morning.

it is regarding the new format for the meeting on thursdays in my area.

its not word for word but im summarizing what i heard, the best i can remember.

just fine

There one one older sister (80+) in the hall I grew up in that would have some of us 20 year old girls over for sleep overs. She would tell us not to put up with shit from the men in the hall - she would joke about them thinking they had a magic wand!

She was a hoot!

76

What is your relationship with ALCOHOL?

by nicolaou in

here in the uk new drinking guidelines have been issued which suggest "no more than 14 units a week - equivalent to six pints of beer or seven glasses of wine.".

another piece of the advice which is getting a lot of attention is that "if people drink, it should be moderately over three or more days and that some days should be alcohol-free.".

already people are making cries of "nanny state!

just fine

Oh boy- alcohol and I were besties after I left the cult. I drank all the time to hide from the emotions of what I was going through. Now, I don't drink very often - maybe one drink per month, or more when on vacation.

14

Double life

by Esmeralda001 in

is there a way i can successfully live a double life?

don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to get engaged in activities that are condemnable according to the *bible* (not the *wt*) standards.

i figured that the only way i can get the brothers and sisters to leave me along is by pretending that i am an unemployed drop out.

just fine

What LateBloomer said.

Why choose this fake life. Go on with your life, be happy, go after your dreams. Let the unhappy people at the hall be miserable together.

138

How many of you actually KNOW the bible OR God???

by Mark Zyche in

since jws are sooooooo terrible and full of lies.

what the heck do you think about fat santa, and and days later the celebration of janus?.

since you seem to be so good at looking at the "lies of the watchtower" what do you people think of your lives now, religiously speaking?

just fine

If God is mighty and great he can take care of things, he doesn't need my help in judging others, or punishing others.

In your original post - I can't answer all of the rantings, but here are a few. Would I want my young daughter to have sex in my house? No because I would want her to be emotionally mature enough to handle an adult relationship, but if she did I wouldn't shun her or kick her out of my home. My son join the military? If he wants to, his father and grandfather both did, and it's his choice. Abortion? Not my cup of tea, but if someone else feels it's the solution for them, who I am to tell them what to do?

I don't have to impose my beliefs on the whole world, or think that my beliefs are the only right ones. I have an amazing life, and have been blessed beyond belief. In doing this - I have found it best to mind my own business and let other people live their life while I live mine.

34

FAVORITE DRINK....

by brandnew in

jw
friends

me personally.....i think....if it was meant to be mixed ...it would come in the bottle that way.. that said...bacardi gold.

just fine

How about a Surfer on Acid....... Yummy

a shot of Malibu Coconut Rum, a shot of Jaeger, and the rest pineapple juice

17

My Experience with Wordly Guys

by LaurenM in

sorry, two posts in a day..but i need to vent something: so far my experience with "worldly" guys has not been the best 1. my first guy experience was with a dude who left state and never came back 2. a coworker asked me to netflix and chill and i did 3. a guy wanted to sext me all the time but never took me out on a date and i did 4. a guy who took me on a great date but then asked me up to his apartment immediately after and then didn't call me after 5. finally, another great date, until after the guy texted me asking for nude pics..told him no!

so basically i've concluded that i had been giving off a vibe that i had no self respect and that was confirmed by me allowing them to use me as a sex object..but i'm hoping that not all worldly guys are like this, and when i start acting like i have self respect, they will treat me like that too?

is that a good assumption?

just fine

Oh the fun I had - crazy, wild, stuff I wouldn't even believe now - if I hadn't of had a front row seat to it! It took me a while to find balance. I joined some rec league sports - I had never played organized sports before and it was a blast. I met some really great people there.

i started college - mixed results meeting people there :-). Volunteering at the animal shelter was good too. Those things helped me to gain perspective and balance, and find purpose.

Enjoy your freedom- while I am not proud of everything I did back then - it all led me to where I am at now - which is pretty damn good.

35

What did being a JW teach you?

by punkofnice in

these are some of the things the wbt$ 'taught' me:.

dishonesty is fine if it's to trick people into joining the cult.. if your spouse stops believeing, the best thing you can do is break up the family.. the laws of the governing body overrule any other laws...or else!.

my friends are conditional.. avoid loving people, they'll only let you down or get df'd.. unintelligent dumbos are better than intelligent ones if the dumbos are elders or above.. hate is better than love.. i am not good enough and god will probably enjoy killing me.. demons will appear in my room at night.. ignore practicallity if being practical or loving prevents the leaders getting money or praise.. god hates.

just fine

I wouldn't say being a JW taught me anything. Leaving the JW's taught me lots:

i can do anything

i can rely on myself

I don't have to agree with anyone and they don't have to agree with me

Real friends tell you you're about to make a mistake, but love you Whether you listen to them or not

Life is amazing and I need to make the most of it - who knows what comes next

Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, and Johnny Walke r will not help you find the answers you seek :-)

17

My Experience with Wordly Guys

by LaurenM in

sorry, two posts in a day..but i need to vent something: so far my experience with "worldly" guys has not been the best 1. my first guy experience was with a dude who left state and never came back 2. a coworker asked me to netflix and chill and i did 3. a guy wanted to sext me all the time but never took me out on a date and i did 4. a guy who took me on a great date but then asked me up to his apartment immediately after and then didn't call me after 5. finally, another great date, until after the guy texted me asking for nude pics..told him no!

so basically i've concluded that i had been giving off a vibe that i had no self respect and that was confirmed by me allowing them to use me as a sex object..but i'm hoping that not all worldly guys are like this, and when i start acting like i have self respect, they will treat me like that too?

is that a good assumption?

just fine

It does get better. When I first left my experience was much like yours. I think you are in the right track - once you love and respect yourself you will attract people who will love and respect you too.

After all of my escapades, I met my husband. We have been married for 15 years, and he is still my best friend. He was never a witness - thank god - and has been my biggest ally in healing from the cult.

Not all worldly guys are jerks, but they are human and have their own baggage. But don't be used, you are worthy of love and respect. When I was a JW I never felt loved or respected so it was difficult to learn. We were taught to put up with others treating us poorly, and to think we deserved it.

be kind to yourself as you find your way. Make mistakes, learn from them, move on.